I am so beyond exhausted right now. Last night I had some pepperoni and alcohol for dinner, didn’t manage to get lunch, and had oatmeal for breakfast. Today and tomorrow, my agenda is to cook so much food we can eat leftovers for the first half of next week, to get the laundry done enough that I have some underwear to wear, and to try to clean one extra thing. Anything, just something that normally doesn’t get done in the shuffle.
A classmate asked me how I was adjusting to parenthood in school, yesterday. Something of a strange question at this point, I mean, it’s been more than a year.
otherwise known as toddlerhood, seems to suffer a higher degree of drunk-like behavior during growth spurts. Symptoms may include:
- falling down for no reason.
- becoming incredibly uncoordinated at simple tasks that were mastered the day before.
- laughing at weird stuff. (e.g.,diaper change)
- crying at weird stuff. (e.g, breakfast when clearly desiring to eat)
- throwing fits at location changes
- the accumulation of a multitude of small bruises (seriously I think I want to get him screened for a clotting disorder but he’s not very graceful either)
- nonsensical language.
- slurred demands.
- fixation on ideas or places (outside, mama. outside outside outside outside. J says almost the same thing when he drinks too much.)
- soiled clothing. (sometimes with actual soil, if outside request has been granted.)
- more naps, or less naps- both while protesting not tired and rubbing eyes.
- Roland purposefully walked off the stepstool because I didn’t pick him up when he said “up”. Fracture screen, concussion screen, orientation confirmation, lesion categorization and evaluation, treatment.
- Roland attempted to jump from the couch to the stroller. Fracture screen, palpation of soft tissue injury, lesion categorization and evaluation, treatment.
- Roland is irritable and opposed to napping. Full body physical to evaluate cause of distress, palpation of gumline to determine swelling of molars, treatment with extra emphasis on inducing naptime.
- Nutritional evaluation of the toddler diet, supplementation of EPA/DHA, attempt to offer more vegetables and less “cheeeee!”
- Evaluation and treatment of diaper rashes.
- Continual pediatric exam practice, especially re: otologic because teething pain refers to the ears and looks just like an ear infection.
No wonder the pediatrician’s waiting room always has kids in it.
Took that baby and that husband to breakfast this morning, which was amazing. P-town is such a foodie mecca. I had vegetable hash, jer had chicken and waffles, and rollybear had a fruit bowl and vegetarian sausage.
Bonus: breastfeeding in a restaurant with an hour wait for tables was honestly the most comfortable nursing in public experience I’ve had. Granted,13 months of nursing means that sometimes I forget that I’m topless. Usually I get a tiny flutter of anxiety before disrobing. Screendoor, being one of the most portland-y portland locations (as filmed in portlandia) was a totally supportive environment. No one so much as blinked an eye. I don’t know how people parent without the magical boob power of hushing up a fussy chid instantly.
Double bonus: the elderly couple at the table next to us let us know that our baby was probably full when he started trying to throw his plate across the table. He’d actually signed “all done” five minutes previously, but I appreciate strangers who have never seen my child before telling me something my kid had already told me in case I was incompetent.
Triple bonus: we showed up early enough to be part of the opening seating rush, and our food was so delicious I didn’t even take a picture.
I put a snack tray of carrots, broccoli, and yogurt covered raisins on the bottom shelf of our pantry for the kiddo so he could help himself to a snack throughout the day. Since I’d just fed the kid a substantial amount of food for lunch, I figured just showing him where it was at would be all that happened before I went to school and mr.three-hours-of-sleep-and-a-rainbow-of-codes-all-night takes over.
I showed him the snack tray, turned around for literally 30 seconds or less to fill up his water sippy cup, and when I turned back, I witnessed kiddo vomiting *ALL* of the yogurt covered raisins I’d set out, in various stages of just covered in drool and partially chewed on.
He’d stuffed every single raisin in his mouth, until he triggered his gag reflex by sheer volume, in 30 seconds.
(and Roland peed on the wall)
This article is amazing. Mongolia is a to term breastfeeders utopia. I would love to see this first hand.
What a neat cultural exploration of term breastfeeding! Even here in my crunchy granola microcosm, I never get this much support. Such a positive reframing.
Is it possible to literally die of ridiculousness?
Because this morning is killing me.
Roland just stood up in the middle of the room twice.
Ladies and gents, we have a full time walker.
seriously. I keep telling myself “Today I will make leek/onion latkes and yogurt covered raisins, then I will work out, then I will consolidate more of my notes”
In reality I took Ro to the playground (where it promptly began hailing), read him some board books in silly voices for like half an hour, and then after his bedtime I evaluated my yogurt covered raisin recipe to find that I hadn’t bought enough yogurt, got too hungry to wait to make latkes, did 30 sit ups and then searched pinterest for toddler snacks and came up with zero inspiration.
I saw a variation on the “good grades, social life, enough sleep: choose two” college adventure that I found really apropro. The choices are: Happy kid, clean house, good grades. Choose two.
I’d like to point out that social life and sleep aren’t even options on this choose your own adventure.
Please slow down and look where you’re going. All of these facial contusions you are giving yourself 1)are giving me palpitations and panic attacks, and 2) make me look abusive because your lip is busted and your nose is all scratched up.
I promise that plastic duck will still be there, even if it takes you 2/32nds of a second longer to get to it.
Roland took his first steps today, right into my arms. I’m so happy I cried. I was so sure that I’d miss them, because he’s more active in the mornings when I’m at school. I feel like he saved them just for me.
In other news, he also dumped a cup of coffee on his head (cold, because of how much a disaster the morning had already been), squirted one of those liquid baby food packs of kiwi/pear/spinach across a huge swath of carpet, and required me to read sandra boynton’s “Dinosaur’s Binkit” no less than 12 times today.
I’ve never been so happy in my life.
That’s what I said to that baby today, when he decided that there was no method of cajoling or tricking him into laying on the changing table and started screaming at the top of his lungs and writhing like a (very strong) electric eel.
I never thought about the diaper changing positions much when I was pregnant. In magazines and books and movies, the kid just lays there, smiling sweetly and maybe pooping on everything.
These days, I can change a diaper upside down, sideways, standing up, with only one leg on a stable surface, on a chair, in the car, without taking the little’s pants off, in silence or a cacophony of screams, with a cat in the way, while jerry-rigging a cover, and probably with one hand tied behind my back .
The morning light was soft, and I had high hopes that Roland would nurse back to sleep. Chassit, our 3 year old idiot cat (as opposed to our 5 year old smart cat, Felix) jumped up on the foot of the bed and said “mmmmmrrirp?”
Roland immediately unlatched and popped up onto all fours. “Khet!” he pronounced. Sleeping time was over, it was time to chase a cat off a two foot drop onto the floor. I caught him before he hit the edge, but he continued to say cat and chase cat all day. Towards the end of the day, he also said a couple pretty reasonable “kitty cat” phrases. (khuddi khet). I’ve been suspicious that he’s been saying “tree” when we set him on the window ledge for a couple of days (“Truh”) which he definitely said today.
Grandma, who was watching him while I was in physiotherapy, reports that he also said “vacuum” and “hi” very clearly this afternoon.
During bath time, Roland got very excited, stood up, and said “da” when Jer walked past. When he’s really upset, he charges at me and says “mamamamamamamamama” which, in light of today’s achievements, I’m going to count as him probably knowing how to say “mama” instead of just being upset noises.
This day is kind of blowing me away. I thought kids started with like, one word- not 5 and exploding out into a little communicative other. This little baby is turning into a little toddler so quickly.