We went for a hike which was more like a carry. Not pictured: the rest of the ravine we climbed down to get to this stream.

We went for a hike which was more like a carry. Not pictured: the rest of the ravine we climbed down to get to this stream.

Lies I tell Roland

  • That (vehicle for kids) cart is broken. We can’t use it because the mechanic needs to see it. 
  • I don’t have any quarters for the M & M machine
  • We don’t have any ice cream
  • This is the last time I’m going to tell you…
  • Mama is too tired to carry you right now
  • I’m reading the news (half lie? I’m checking facebook)
  • I can’t [_______] until I finish this cup of coffee.
  • Maybe there is a choo train by [destination I want him to walk to]. 

It’s a 20 hour drive, which we’d do over 2 days. We do three hours on the regular but kiddo hits a limit around the six hour mark. Ideally we’d do a bunch while he’s sleeping

On a scale of 1 to 10

where 1 is hardly crazy at all and 10 is totally batshit, how crazy would it be to take a family road trip to phoenix, AZ in the middle of summer for a conference I’m going to?

Becoming That Parent

Have you ever been to the Oregon Zoo? It’s built on a hillside such that the entire walk into the zoo is downhill, but the return to the entrance is all uphill. 

Señor tiny pants and I went to the zoo this morning. First we stopped at the sandbox. For 20 minutes. Then we went to look at the bubbles in the sea lion exhibit. Then we looked at warty pigs, reported a family who threw a plastic toy in to said pigs, and spent half an hour in the water tubs pretending to be elephants. We wandered slowly through the gibbon, orangutan, and chimpanzee areas, played on the playground at the end of the fragile forests, and then climbed the africafe to sit on the top balcony for snacks. There were many verbal warnings of how much time we had left before heading home, yet at the actual moment of needing to go uphill, complete toddler meltdown. 

The sobbing. The flailing. The laying on the ground. the continual NONONONO. He screamed DOWN so much he eventually even tried it to the tune of “Mary had a little lamb” which was hilarious but of course I couldn’t laugh. 

All the while I’m hauling this kid the half a mile up a hill through a saturday midday crowd on one of the first sunny weekends of the year, first on one hip, then under my arm like a duffle bag, then on the other hip, then upside down according to the flailing and the flopping. 

When we got to the car he sobbed even harder because I wouldn’t let him drive. I never let him have any fun

The I’ve sat through this light three times but I don’t even care because my face is on point rush hour selfie

The I’ve sat through this light three times but I don’t even care because my face is on point rush hour selfie

On eating

Today after I got home jer reheated me some dinner. It was delicious. Approximately 2 bites in, Roland asked to sit in my lap because he loves me allll day, which of course I couldn’t refuse.

Then he ate 75% of my dinner.

Holy bejeezus

I just bought a second car seat due to this schedule insanity. Cue sadness. At least I got a car seat that will go with him almost until he’s done with carseatness, while his britax is only going to work for another yearish. 

Suddenly the massive amount of switching back and forth of caretakers and cars doesn’t seem quite so daunting. 

we went to a baby shower this afternoon. Roland loves dog doors that are just his size. Their dog was great about sharing too. 

Yes, the background conversation is about unmanned drones. That’s what happens at coed baby showers with engineers, doctors, future doctors, nurses, and one lonely artist present. 

3 day potty training: Day 3

So, there was only one single accident in a shining arc of triumphs today. However, kiddo requested diapers more than once. Not sure if it’s because they’re adorable (honest company makes really adorable diapers, and kiddo breaks out in basically everything else but cloth) or if he’s having trouble with being a big kid. 

He did some other regression-y type things today too, like ask for his water in a sippy cup and something else that slipped my mind. 

I dunno. I’m pretty sure they didn’t cover this in the baby center article. 

However, granted the continuing improving success we’re continuing to move forward. On a day with no accidents there will be cake. And cream. And crowns. And possibly cookies now? Hopefully soon because he keeps adding things to his “parky” 

Excuse you sir, your sexism is showing

at the grocery store today Jer pushed the cart to a display that Roland likes to look at while I picked out a beer for the week. A stocker nearby said “Wow, that’s unusual. I expect the husband to stay while the wife walks the baby somewhere else” 

I gave him death eyes and picked out a gf dark ale. 

3 day potty training: day 2

Roland pooped in the potty on purpose, deliberately, and did not try to stomp inna mud afterwards.

After he flushed the potty and washed his hands, he said “Boy gets a crown?” 

3 Day Potty Training: Day 1

So far, success. This child has a lot of requests for his super pooper party, like “a caaake? mama cake. and cream? Ice cream. Baby like a chocolate.” 

Hopefully this means he wants ice cream so much he’s over diapers. 

My side of the bed and how this baby sleeps vs how much rest of the bed there is

double-d replied to your post: Breaking news:

What is this magic? Please teach me your ways.

Step 1: Get a good book. I was reading through Insurgent by Veronica Roth. 
Step 2: Hole up on the couch. Occasionally contribute to lego structures or build train runways, throw blankets on the wee one’s head. Think to yourself “Well, it’s {x} minutes to nap time. He doesn’t look tired (even though he totally does). I’ll just read one more chapter and then we’ll have the whole nap time battle with the crying and the reading of “The friendly duck” and the million requests for weird things like a blue lego or whatever it is he needs to sleep today.
Step 3: ???????
Step 4: PROFIT  nap

Tags: double-d