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I wish I had a conveyor belt from my refridgerator to my mouth. And also a straw that would reach the sink.
Roland has been nursing for hours and hours and hours.
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books that I didn’t read, but wanted to, last night.
(via wordsthatididntsay)
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Scientific Progress
Roland immediately resumed a more normal sleep schedule and started eating more once I added coffee back in to my diet.
(made up stats- P=0.00005 that we need coffee in our lives)
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I have a problem.
I keep looking at tiny newsboy caps, suspenders, and teeny leg warmers with pirate flag motifs on etsy.
Then adding them to Roland’s wish list.
Because it’s a reasonable thing to want to spend 27$ on a hat that he’ll be able to wear for approximately 12 days, right?
No?
Oh, yeah. That’s the problem.
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fambly.
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look at those squished cheeks!
(it’s a flashback- these were taken during week 1!)
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most handsome father
also, expect some photo spam. we just got our professional pics back. the scans don’t quite do them justice, but I’m so excited that I’m doing this one handed.
Didn’t I say that he looked like an ad for fatherhood, or for what makes life complete?
I adore this man.
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just a small follow up
guys, just because our pediatrician said that our problem was probably the extra cup of milk I had doesn’t mean that my entire list of catastrophes wouldn’t apply to any baby who had a sudden loss or dip in appetite. Babies not eating is serious business noise, because kidneys aren’t fully functional in a child until about age 2. That means that a baby who’s not eating can quickly become dehydrated, because their kidneys aren’t saving enough water. And a dehydrated baby has a whole extra list of possible catastrophes.
Doctors are there for even silly questions. Trust me, we’d rather do an exam where the problem is minor than hear later that totally preventable complications showed up at the ER. Whenever you have a question about your own, or your child’s health- go see a doctor!
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follow up
dat baby has eaten 3 times today, which is a one up on yesterday and it’s only 12:30. We went to the pediatrician’s this morning at 9:30 (took separate cars so that I could bail out after the appointment and take that test, since I didn’t find out until after the test that I could have taken an excused absence.)
The doc checked his lungs and heart and mouth and ears and asked a lot of the questions I’d already asked myself.
Her suggestion was that perhaps my dairy level had increased, and asked me to take it out of my diet for a couple days and see how he does. She also wants a phone call tomorrow. And to see him on Tuesday to check in.
Our doc was also incredibly empathetic to me, acknowledging that my concerns were valid and that while she was also concerned, she knew that my medical training would serve to bring Ro the best care possible, and that if anything was seriously wrong, we would catch it well before it became a bad problem. Old people and babies, man. They’re the hardest to catch small problems in.
Anyway, since the papoose has at least attempted eating a normal nursing session once today, my cortisol levels are starting to drop down. Hopefully this was just a passing protest. I probably passed that test, too.
Some days it’s just so overwhelming. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom until after I had this guy and realized how rewarding it was to just be with him, and how much easier it makes taking care of him when I don’t have anywhere to be or any test to study for.
Le sigh. 3 more years of school, and then life will start getting more normal. I hear doctors bragging about how much better life is after school all the time. From the sound of it, it’s like chasing down a rainbow, getting a double pot of gold, and then riding a unicorn into the sunset, every single day.
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loss of appetite?
Now, I know that this is the med school mama stuff kicking in. Still, we have an appointment with the pediatrician in the morning, because Roland has refused to eat all day. He’ll latch for approximately 30 seconds, get to let down, and then quit after three swallows.
He’s just been miserable all day.
He won’t take a bottle either, we tried that too.
I’ve had a complex for a while, since everyone I read about talks about how they feed their little ones from both breasts every time, and my son is rarely interested in going for a twofer, but I wasn’t really worried about it until he stopped eating entirely.
I’ve checked his temperature, looked at his gums, checked his sclera, checked for bulging or depression of his soft spot, palpated for abdominal masses, done a skin check for rashes, timed his respirations, and I’m about to bust out some medical equipment and check his ears, lungs, and heart.
My mind just keeps going “Meningitis. Pneumonia. Systemic Candida. Toxicity from the vitamin E and A in the diaper cream. Fungal infection. Parasitic infection. Abdominal obstruction. Pertussis.”
Then I’m on the catastrophe plane for normal things- “not eating, I’ll lose my milk, we’ll have to switch to formula, he’ll develop allergies, get asthma, which will be suppressed and turn into seizures and then he’ll have ischemia of the brain and be a vegetable”.
or- “What if I give him some baby tylenol? what if that drops his body temperature and then causes NIL disease? I can’t give him tylenol, I’ll kill his kidneys and then he’ll need a transplant and die!”
or on a more selfish note- “I can’t go to class, he needs too much attention. what if he decides to eat but we’re in the car going to school? I’m going to fail my test tomorrow, and I’ll never pass med school, and I’ll drop out in shame and never be able to pay off my student loans and we’ll live in a box and he’ll get too cold and then get pneumonia and die!”
Then I check his temperature again.
Can it just be time for his doctor’s appointment already?
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stop coffee, I thought.
Perhaps it will help roland sleep better.
I had my last cuppa on Thursday. He had his last night of decent sleep on Thursday night.
Trying to make a whole week, in the name of science. Evidence thus far proves that I should be drinking coffee.
Three more days to go. -
that baby just slept for 5 hours and sidelay nursed for the first time
Not sure who this kid is, but I like him. I woke up feeling rested, even.
Could this be the new fancy sleep pattern? Fingers crossed. -
Happy Belated 2 Months!
This past month has been crazy. Medical school + baby is incredibly hard. I constantly struggle with feeling like I’m “not doing anything productive” which is, of course, total bunk. My mentor told me that “Career energy and baby energy come from the same place. Look at how happy and healthy your son is, and take that as an A+ on this quarter’s transcript.”
I think about those words a lot.
Anyhoozle, we went in for the 2 month appointment at our pediatrician’s office on Tuesday and received these glorious stats:
- 11 lbs, 14 oz. (50th percentile)
- 23.5” in height (75th percentile)
- 15.5” head circumference (30th percentile)
Which is a pretty big jump up from last month. I think last month I also had time to do percent increase from birth, which is a hooey load of math that I’m probably never going to do again. I’m not sure why I calculated the percent increase the first time anyway. (It was my bachelor’s degree at work. Anyone who’s taken orgo knows that when you make something, ya gotta know the percent yield.)
Cool things about this last month:
- Roland started smiling on purpose, and managed to do the responsive smiling on purpose while both of us were home and looking. Totally adorbz. Makes the sleep deprivation way easier.
- Also he wigglescoots on his face a few inches whenever I put him on his stomach. He’s trying really hard to roll from laying on his back to the prone position- I have no doubt he’ll get that sorted out in the next week or so.
- He loves hanging out in his stroller. And being outside in general, which makes my life easier. (I’ve lost 4 lbs since we got the stroller. And acquired 3 blisters. I guess my feet aren’t used to moving around anymore.)
- We’ve made no progress on the sleep front, but it is getting much easier for me to be up that much at night. We’re usually up at 11, 1 or 2, 3 or 4, 5:30, and 6. Usually one of those times he wants to play for 45 minutes. When J is home, I hand him off for those 45 minutes. When it’s just me, I put him in his crib and go back to sleep. I used to feel guilty- what if I was missing precious milestones?- but now I’m trying to be better at taking care of myself, so I just sleep till he wakes me up again.
- His favorite toy: is the mirror. He likes looking at that handsome guy that shows up.
Things we call him (from most to least frequent)
- Little man
- Milky boy
- Little guy
- the Papoose
- Ro
- Roland
- Flutterbudget
- teeny pterodactyl. (This is what he sounds like when he’s very upset.)
Overall, a grand month.
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Popped collar bro has a 2 month update to be written sometime when I’m not tumblin’ on my phone.
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After an afternoon of bouncing, walks, nursing, and constant diaper changes, I set Ro down in his crib so I could go to the bathroom.
That was apparently the only thing he wanted, since he has ceased crying and is now cooing at the penguins on his mobile.
Duly noted, baby.
