Signs of the times:

-got a groupon for corn maze admission
-pumpkin spice latte is back
- mini pumpkin in yard is nearly ripe
- rained this morning at the zoo and needed a sweatshirt

Let’s reorganize and sort the clothes, I said. It’ll be fun, I said.

Let’s reorganize and sort the clothes, I said. It’ll be fun, I said.

  • Roland appears, wearing a cheese grater on his arm such that his arm is inside and his hand is grasping the handle
  • Me: oh, honey we don't play with that. That could cut you and hurt you. Go put that back in the drawer
  • Jer: but it's his robot hammer!
  • Roland: yeah, robot hammer!
  • Me: no.
  • Jer and Roland: awww
"Fuck! Dat’s bad driving!"

Roland says, age 2.5
To be fair, there was some bad driving occurring in front of us.

Brb, washing my mouth out with soap and starting up a swear jar again.

Today I made a rule that

…taking the refill hose out of the back of the toilet and using it as a straw is not allowed.
It was one of those rules that as I was saying the words, I was wondering if this was real life or I was just having a really weird dream.

Now ( imperial ) we don’t disassemble the toilet.

Hot sauce sample box

If your Louisiana style hot sauce is made in Florida, I’m not sure what to think about that.

Captain oblivious eats popcorn with penguins.

West coast= best coast. This doesn’t even touch how great our cideries are.

We went to ikea yesterday. Today when he woke up I had assembled this 5$ table and set up these fake cupcakes on it. 
He’s so stoked. “OH, MY BIRTHDAY CAKES!” “I HAVE MY GRANOLA BY MY BIRTHDAY CAKES” “THESE MY SPECIAL CAKES”!
All the exclamation points. I’m glad he thinks it’s worth it, because he was actually quoting ‘llama llama mad at mama’ about an hour and 15 into our trip. I’ve never heard him do that before. 
No more cheesypuffs at shoporama indeed.

We went to ikea yesterday. Today when he woke up I had assembled this 5$ table and set up these fake cupcakes on it.
He’s so stoked. “OH, MY BIRTHDAY CAKES!” “I HAVE MY GRANOLA BY MY BIRTHDAY CAKES” “THESE MY SPECIAL CAKES”!
All the exclamation points. I’m glad he thinks it’s worth it, because he was actually quoting ‘llama llama mad at mama’ about an hour and 15 into our trip. I’ve never heard him do that before.
No more cheesypuffs at shoporama indeed.

Doctor who premiere appreciation outfit. 
I got a high five inside the grocery store, and a “kids these days” lecture as I walked out, balancing Roland  and some salad dressing and goat cheese.
Excuse me, sir. Doctor who is actually from your era.

Doctor who premiere appreciation outfit.
I got a high five inside the grocery store, and a “kids these days” lecture as I walked out, balancing Roland and some salad dressing and goat cheese.
Excuse me, sir. Doctor who is actually from your era.

Other kids can have soft toys. Roland takes matchbox cars and trains to bed instead of the stuffed animals we keep trying to push.

Other kids can have soft toys. Roland takes matchbox cars and trains to bed instead of the stuffed animals we keep trying to push.

Cowabunga, dude.

"

When you are 13 years old,
the heat will be turned up too high
and the stars will not be in your favor.
You will hide behind a bookcase
with your family and everything left behind.
You will pour an ocean into a diary.
When they find you, you will be nothing
but a spark above a burning bush,
still, tell them
Despite everything, I really believe people are good at heart.

When you are 14,
a voice will call you to greatness.
When the doubters call you crazy, do not listen.
They don’t know the sound
of their own God’s whisper. Use your armor,
use your sword, use your two good hands.
Do not let their doubting
drown out the sound of your own heartbeat.
You are the Maid of Untamed Patriotism.
Born to lead armies into victory and unite a nation
like a broken heart.

When you are 15, you will be punished
for learning too proudly. A man
will climb onto your school bus and insist
your sisters name you enemy.
When you do not hide,
he will point his gun at your temple
and fire three times. Three years later,
in an ocean of words, with no apologies,
you will stand before the leaders of the world
and tell them your country is burning.

When you are 16 years old,
you will invent science fiction.
The story of a man named Frankenstein
and his creation. Soon after you will learn
that little girls with big ideas are more terrifying
than monsters, but don’t worry.
You will be remembered long after
they have put down their torches.

When you are 17 years old,
you will strike out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig
one right after the other.
Men will be afraid of the lightening
in your fingertips. A few days later
you will be fired from the major leagues
because “Girls are too delicate to play baseball”

You will turn 18 with a baby on your back
leading Lewis and Clark
across North America.

You will turn 18 
and become queen of the Nile.

You will turn 18 
and bring justice to journalism.

You are now 18, standing on the precipice,
trembling before your own greatness.

This is your call to leap.

There will always being those
who say you are too young and delicate
to make anything happen for yourself.
They don’t see the part of you that smolders.
Don’t let their doubting drown out the sound
of your own heartbeat.

You are the first drop of a hurricane.
Your bravery builds beyond you. You are needed
by all the little girls still living in secret,
writing oceans made of monsters and
throwing like lightening.

You don’t need to grow up to find greatness.
You are stronger than the world has ever believed you to be.
The world laid out before you to set on fire.
All you have to do
is burn.

"

For Teenage Girls With Wild Ambition and Trembling Hearts, Clementine von Radics (via clementinevonradics)

(via lindsaytheamazing)

annamannix replied to your post: Super successful grown up adulting

Yes, but, written otherwise, this list could also look like this: 1) met up with *** for run, 2) fed toddler a mobile breakfast 3) hot chocolate treat 4) quiet time while eating my breakfast. Rather adult, really.

Ah yes. 
"Good Morning Facebook! Just slept with my little angel until 7:30, what a great surprise! Then we grabbed breakfast and went for a 2.5 mile run with ___, came home to get hot chocolate, and now we’re having a cozy morning with Daniel Tiger learning about the differences and similarities of people with disabilities! Coming up this afternoon, I’m going to work a shift at our community clinic out in ___, which is so instrumental to the low income families. Wish us luck!!"

I almost threw up a little typing that. I’m not about that sugarcoated internet life.